Love

All in due time… (my love letter to YOU)

By your many names, I am still to call you mine and mine forever. By your many faces, I am still to look at the one etched on my cornea… forever a part of my vision. I have seen the essence of your smile brighten up the darkest of rooms, worn by imitations and distorted refractions of you.

It seems my journey to you has truly begun again. I have recognised you in the many places that I have been in search of you. Whether it was your lingering perfume or the footprint you left in the sand, I have felt your presence though you were not quite there. It’s not easy, my love; holding onto what looks and feels like you only to be shown that my instincts were wrong by the world and myself. Don’t get me wrong, my angel; I am only made more humble knowing that the road to the greatness that is you is lined with the struggles that will affirm my readiness for you, as I am sure your journey is too.

Though I would not wish any pain upon you, if my travels are anything to go by… I know yours is not an easy road either. Part of my sadness is that I cannot hold your hand through it all and tell you that it’s all going to be ok and that we will one day be. I will in no way be the end of your problems; in fact I can guarantee that I will be the cause of a few. At the same time, I can guarantee that my intent is good, and it will pave a road contrary to hell.  

I want to protect you as if you were born from me, the way I know I am both born from you and for you. I know in my heart that you are out there. I can only hope that you believe that I am out there searching for you. I will never be lost knowing I am searching for you. Be strong in your search for me.

 As much as I know that you have already forgiven me for the mistakes I have made and will make, in what will be the past to our future forever, I still bear enough to ask you… please forgive me? I have now done and am done with what can be referred to as the “young man’s way” of finding you; with naivetè and carelessness for my actions and consequences thereof for others.

I am scared too, my baby; scared that my soul will not be able to recognise yours the longer my search goes on. I am scared that my impatience under the guise of eagerness will make me settle for something that isn’t you. I am scared that I have already met you and you have ruled me out without discovering the grown point, my relevant growth point that would make me perfect for you.

I once said in the past that perfection is chased by those who are not satisfied with who they are. I do not stray from my statement. I only move forward with the knowledge that the kind of perfection I seek is one defined by me and me alone. Enveloping all the imperfections that will propel our growth into what we will later describe as exactly what we needed to make it last to the forever we can only hold as “till death do us part”.

My fears, however, are not enough to drain my heart’s energy to carry on. It is because I know and believe that you are out there that fear becomes the police to the actions that keep me from losing you once I have the privilege to call you mine and mine forever.

Time’s relativity coupled with relativity to its end brings me down to the realistic realisation that on my death bed, the idea of you may just be the culmination  of all the destinations I have had the honour of visiting. I need you to know that if that be the case, I am still truly and forever grateful because I have been very fortunate in love, enough to consider myself the luckiest man in this world.

So this letter is to you, my lady. For you to know that you are not alone. You are not alone in the search for that forever somebody. I exist in this realm and all realms that have a need for holistic balance. We exist for each other the way night exists for day, the way right exists for wrong and the way beginnings exist for endings.

By your many names I have not yet had the privilege to call you mine and mine forever. Know that I am because you are. The universe will one day see fit to put us together. For that day I guarantee we will be equipped for everything we need to know to make us last for the forever we can only hold as “till death do us part”.

 
 

– Call me Dizzle

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Family, Friends, Love

My Best Friend’s Wedding (Best man’s best wishes)

Mr and Mrs Manyaka

Mr and Mrs Manyaka

Without a need for a fancy title, my best friend got married this weekend.
Saturday the 22nd of March marked the acculmination of a dream that Jesse Manyaka had some years back,
entering university as an eager student of life and his chosen study field.

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I sometimes think back on the kind of woman that he always wanted to marry, and though the list of requirements was
small it was nothing short of significant. I wont say that Ayanda Manyaka(Jesse’s wife) fit exactly into this description,
however, believe me when I say that when he met her he threw the list out the window. My understanding was that
she already possessed the fundamental things that he was looking for and she also possessed qualities that he never knew he
wanted or needed.As a man of God and a believer of fate, who was he to fight the decision that his maker had made to place
this lady on the path of his life’s’ journey?!

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I could talk about how beautiful the wedding ceremony was (which it was), and i could talk about how beautiful the
decor at the reception was, both at her family’s home and his(which it was)… But what I want to talk about is the feeling that was imprinted in my heart when seeing two young people, who I love, look at each other with that look that says “we are finally here, baby…”. There have been a number of times when i have seen Jesse that happy, to name a few;
When he met Ayanda, when his favorite soccer team (Manchester United) wins and when he gets lost in a good time with
good music playing in the background… and when I watched him atop the alter preparing to profess the necessary
understandings to his future wife before he said “I do”.

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From the first kiss, till death do they part.

That kind of happiness is attained only by those who choose to be that happy by doing the things that would ignite that
kind of fire.

My Friends, i am a colossal believer in your love and what it will accomplish on this earth. Take these next steps with
balanced togetherness and nothing will ever be able to overwhelm you. I have watched you both grow as a couple of
individuals and individuals in a couple. Your union is blessed, and all those who were privileged enough to be part of it, i’m sure feel as I do… honored.

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I love you both and wish you all the best.

– Call Me Dizzle

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Love

Somebody’s somebody

 

There was a time I could comb through a crowd of girls with my eyes and only see who they pretend to be, or rather the presentation and not the gift. When I say that what I mean is, for most of the day you are not seeing them in their rawest form, like in their pj’s or with that just-woke-up look. by the time a woman is ready to present herself to the world, you are being shown exactly what she wants you to see.

For instance, those dresses with draped fabric over the tummy that arches back up just before the naval, so that your focus is on her cleavage and not her cleverly concealed muffin top.  Or the press on nails that makes their fingers feel tingly and cool when they fan their nails against a desk or table making that acrylic tap sound. The high heels that flex the calve muscle and elongates the silhouette.  And who can forget the weave! Oh how the weave has become a girl’s best friend. Diamonds are probably feeling so jealous right about now. And how about the lip stuff (gloss, liners, lipstick, etc) that can transform the most regular of lips into an invite to Angelina Jolie’s mouth.

Wow women are beautiful… *cough* anyway…

Like I was saying, until recently I think my vision was blurred by the trickery, smoke and mirrors. And there is also the programmed shallow response I have to what is considered beautiful and what isn’t. I have a fresh set of eyes ladies and gentlemen, and they came at the very high cost associated with learning. Lets jus say that some lessons only need to be learnt once and the mistake never to be repeated, EVER!!!

All I see now is the unique features that make them who they are. Like a smile that would drive some lucky guy so bananas that there is actually an allocated number of hours in the day dedicated to making it happen again and again and again. Then there is the way girls move on the dance floor and how some guy out there would have the perfect rhythm for her beat, even if it’s not synchronise, it could be playful, clumsy, cute. And she would absolutely adore him for it!! If a girl likes to cuddle when they sleep, there is a guy out there whose sleeping experience is made better with his arm around her, and made worse without her.  Then you get the girls, whose curves take the more scenic route around their body, meandering with grace and confidence.  There is a guy out there whose height, arm length and size are just the right fit that when he hugs her in full embrace, makes her feel like she is a little out of breath, vulnerable and at the same time safe; never wanting to be let go.

My point is there are some things we shouldn’t have  in life, not that we should limit ourselves but i think that by some cosmic decree some things are actually not ours to have.  But I guess sometimes it’s that tinge of jealousy that we sometimes mistake for attraction that is the driving force behind our own greed.  And I say jealousy purposely; for instance have you ever noticed how guys can look at a super hot girl, then see the regular guy she is dating, start hating and tell themselves that if that’s the case then they had a chance, not realising how far  they are from the truth.

I look at women, marvel at their beauty, and remember why my heart stopped when I first saw the woman in my life! How NO MATTER WHAT, I needed to be in her space, making my presence felt.  How she still makes me a little nervous when I haven’t seen her for more than a week.  Or how holding her hand when we walk gives me the reassurance that I will always have someone beside me and at the same time giving her the reassurance that she will always have somebody beside her. She became MY somebody! And I became hers!

The next time you are scanning a room full of girls, keep in the back of your mind that that sexy girl in the bright green leggings and purple figure-hugging short dress may have already found somebody and doesn’t need you to add confusion and distraction to the equation. She is somebody’s somebody! And when you come across yours, you will know!!!

Call me Dizzle

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Love

The very first, very first date

Oh yeah, the first date… Do
you remember that feeling? The very first time you asked a girl out, with the
most innocent of intentions. Or as a girl, waiting on the edge of your seat for
the cute guy in class that you sorta kinda maybe like to “pop the question”;  nervous and excited at the same time…

I know that as a guy the moment
between asking the question and the waiting for the response felt like the
entire length of break time; and no time to eat your sandwich with the lump in
your throat.

Well… that’s because it was the
length of break time; that’s all the time you had really, and besides, even
back then a girl would have to deliberate with her girlfriends before getting
back to you with an answer.

Women… lol

And after patiently waiting
to hear those sweet words, you finally hear them, “yes I will go out with you”, and  you felt like the
enormous force that was clutching your heart and lungs has finally let go. Now
you can breathe and bask the feeling of awesomeness.

Pheeew!!!  …And now for that sandwich.

Deciding where to go for the
date was not hard, you were 13 years old, and conversing with the girl you like
was hard enough. Now, conversing with her outside of school grounds, wow!!  So the obvious choice, which also takes the
pressure off of conversation, was taking her to the latest movie at the popular
mall, where if you were lucky your class mates would spot you, and instantly,
you would be the talk of the playground come Monday morning.

(Fist pump) YES!!

Mmmmhmmm, you dressed to
impress for this one. Plus you have seen how she looks on civvies day, oooh
mama! So you had better bring you’re A-game.

So, with the innocent
intentions, you take a ride in the back seat of your mom or dads car, to your
very first date… hoping that maybe during the course of this day time affair you
will get to hold her hand, or better yet around her waist. The bonus, as a guy,
would be receiving the cherry on top, a kiss on the cheek. Only the brave
ventured for the whole cake, the pierce de résistance… A mbaa (peck) on the
lips.  Oooooooooh!!!

Timing is everything; if you
were late, you could kiss your hopes goodbye. If you didn’t wait for the light
finger brush and for your hands to dry before reaching for hers, consider that
the beginning of the awkwardness.

There were also a few things
that were key:

  • She has already said yes to the date so you have
    done something right. BUT don’t get comfortable, you are still trying to
    make an impression.
  • Always have gum. YOU DO NOT want the last thing she remembers about that date, to be your unprepared (foul) breath as you tried to whisper something in her ear in the movie theatre.
  • Be a gentleman. You know you were taught better than to mistreat a lady.
  • And have fun DAMMIT, it’s your first date.

Aah the good old days… Dating
was simple, and determined only by your parent’s pockets. Hahahaha!!

I don’t remember my very
first date going so well. I had made the mistake of buying a gobstopper sweet along
with my popcorn. Gobstoppers are tricky things to eat. I always opt for sucking
on it with my entire mouth as apposed to licking my way through multiple layers of hard candy. I later found out that she thought I was practicing
how to kiss; which explains a lot about the rest of the date.

– Call me Dizzle

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